Tips to Help With Grief During the Holidays

The pain of losing a child is unbearable at the best of times. Mothers who have lost a child feel this pain intensify at Christmas, which is full of painful reminders and memories of their child. I have researched and tried all these tips over many years and these are the 7 best tips that have worked for me and helped me during this most painful of times. I know they will help you through this most painful of times.

1. Do Something Different - Go to a movie, the beach or volunteer to help cook Christmas lunch for the homeless.

2. Write Down 3 People or Things that you are Grateful for - Between now and New Years Day write down 3 things or people everyday (different ones each day) that you are grateful for. (Hint! Put your loved one at the top of the list everyday! Think of them in a loving and positive way everyday.)

3. Acknowledge Your Feelings - If you want to cry, cry, if you want to laugh, laugh. Acknowledge the fact that they are your feelings and let them flow.

4. Meditation and Visualisation - Close your eyes and visualise your child looking down on you with a big beautiful smile, reaching out and holding your hand, kissing you on the cheek and guiding you through your journey. Know, really know that your child is there for you always.

5. Faith - It doesn't matter if you believe in God or Buddha or Mohammed or the Man in the Moon! Trust your faith and your God to help you at this time. Your God will!

6. Serve Others - Nothing is more satisfying or helpful to your well being than helping others. Help at the local soup kitchen, volunteer to feed the homeless at Christmas lunch or just help an elderly person cross the road. There is always someone worse off than we are. Be grateful for all you have and help those with nothing. Your soul will soar and your child will be by your side and will be so proud of you.

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How To Celebration of Life Service Planning

When a loved one dies, a celebration of life service is just as appropriate to have as a funeral or memorial. While the latter focuses on saying goodbye and mourning the deceased person, the former celebrates his or her life.

Holding a Celebration of Life Service

This type of service is usually held in lieu of a funeral; however family and friends typically convene for this gathering weeks or sometimes months later. The mood is more upbeat and casual in comparison to a traditional funeral as it is held to help bring closure to the loved one's death.

When planning a celebration of life service, decide on your guest list before selecting your venue. This commemoration can include many of your loved one's family, friends and colleagues or be more intimate. Smaller services are traditionally held in a private home or outdoor garden or park. Larger celebrations of life are best in a rented hall or funeral home.

A celebration of life service is not a somber event. Guests are typically over their initial shock and grief about their loved one's death and many are ready to celebrate his or her life! Unlike funerals, this type of service doesn't have a set format to which to adhere.

Ideas for Celebration of Life Services

Since there are no rules or guidelines regarding the format of a celebration of life service, here are few ideas to consider when planning one:

Memory table: Display photos, scrapbooks and personal items about your loved one. For example, if he or she was a member of the military, you can display the uniform, American flag, medals or commendations, pictures, discharge papers, letters, etc.

Video slideshow: Typically one of the more emotional aspects of a celebration of life service, a video slideshow outlining the deceased person's life is a beautiful sentiment to add to this event. Include childhood photos, as well as those showing your loved one at his or her best. Consider making copies of the slideshow to hand out to callers as a keepsake.

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